Let’s put this issue to rest, shall we?

I often get asked if it is “okay” to sleep with a dog in bed. This is one of the issues that is actually quite personal. Some people - I would say most people,  love sleeping with their dogs but other folks would rather not. And sometimes the “rather nots” do not know how to get their dogs off their beds!

The hesitation of having dogs in bed stems  - in my view, from the incorrect idea that dogs are statue thinking creatures and if we allow them on a higher ground (such as bed)  they will take the position of the “alpha”.  My answer to this line of thinking is to look for real evidence to this effect.  We could begin by investigating for potential problems while allowing the dog to sleep on the bed:  Is the person able to move the dog out of the way without having the dog respond by sneering, growling or worse, attempting to bite or bitting while on the bed?  Is the dog preventing another pet from also sleeping on the bed?

I would instead argue for the Parsimony Principle, which states -  that the most acceptable explanation of an occurrence, phenomenon, or event is the simplest, involving the fewest entities, assumptions, or changes should be applied here.

If folks then want to share their bed with their dog, they should go right ahead without any concern for their dog becoming the “dominant” or “alpha”.  There is, however, a consideration when the dog resource guards the bed as his own possession. This, of course, is natural dog behavior, but it could also be very dangerous.

Dogs are wired to “protect” what they consider a resource- something that they find valuable or want. A cozy place to lie can fall under this category.

When a dog resource guards a person’s bed, it is possible for the dog, in its effort to hold on to the possession, to sneer, growl or even bite.  If this was the situation, I would argue that having a dog on the bed at anytime is not a good idea.

I have worked with a couple of clients whose dogs would jump up on the bed and prevent one of the owners to get into the bed!

So what is the solution here?  If people are good about following with a management protocol, and closing the door to the bedroom is, of course, the easiest thing to do.

Alternatively, one can teach a dog an “off” cue that the dog learns as if it was learning a fun game. In essence, the dog gets paid for jumping of the bed (and staying off).  If the dog  jumps on the bed he is asked again to get off and then he is rewarded for doing so! Viola! Problem solved.

Another sticky issue arises when one person wants the dog in bed and the sleeping partner does not. This is a typical example of how folks have different expectations and relationships with their dogs, and frankly I think it has very little to do with one person  loving the dog more, and the other one loving the dog less.

At home dog & dog conflicts

One of the most difficult cases to resolve in my experience are cases that involved at home dog / dog conflicts. The motivation(s) behind the conflicts or fights can at times be difficult to parcel out.  In addition, these kinds of situations require constant and competent supervision by those living with the dogs.

One (still) popular yet misleading and quite problematic advice that folks might get when they are experiencing problems between their resident dogs is to “support the dominant or alpha one.”

It is incredible to me that even though the “dominant” paradigm has been proven to be false and an oversimplification of canine social relations, some “experts” are still advising their clients that supporting the dominant one is how to go about resolving the conflicts.

 So, what exactly is a “dominant” dog? The answer depends on whom you ask.  The popular notion of a dominant dog is pretty much a personality trait.  For example:  A dog that growls when groomed, jumps or leans on people or does not come when called is also often referred to as acting “dominant” or is “dominant” by temperament.

Now, if we look at the scientific literature (and there is plenty) the definition of dominance changes.

First off, the term dominant does not appear as a “stand-alone” term, but it is linked with the word “social” as in social dominance.  This is an important distinction and here is why:  According to the scientific literature, dogs are not dominant by nature or by temperament.  A dog may challenge another dog when it comes to the acquisition of a valuable resource - and it is the dog who decides what is valuable, not the human.

Dogs may also challenge a given dog in a specific context, but not in another. In essence: Social dominance as defined in the animal behavioral literature is fluid.  It is based in the relationship between individuals, competition for valuable resources as well as being context specific! For example:  My dog Laika who is our only dog, has to share the spotlight, her toys and her home etc. whenever I have a client’s dog stay with us for training.  What I have witnessed many times is how Laika and the guest dog negotiate over resources - be it the larger bed, the privileged spot next to me when watching a video and on and on. In other words, Laika who normally lies on her bed, has readily allowed the visiting dog take her (larger) bed when she is more interested in laying outside in the sun.  It is not that she cannot lie on her bed, but in a given moment, she is more willing to share a coveted resource because she’d rather lay somewhere else.

The good news is that dogs, for the most part, (as well as other animals with complex social structures) resolve conflict by not having one to begin with.  Instead, they learn how to negotiate based on the specifics of the relationship with another dog(s) at a given moment in time. What these scientific findings mean to the human-dog relationship is that we can relate to our dogs as “partners” in a life of mutual collaboration and friendship versus my client’s viewing her dog as “dominant” or adversarial.

The scientific notion of social dominance asks that dog guardians/owners recognize that the behaviors they are labeling as displays of dominance are for the most part ways by which a dog is either communicating, i.e. I have not been taught to like being brushed/handled so I am letting you know by snarling or growling, or the dog is just being a dog and simply wants to lay down on something soft like our beds.

The question still remains as how to resolve canine conflicts at home?

First off, it is important for us to take stock of the fact that canids in general do form strong social bonds with other canids but that does not mean that they will necessarily want to form a strong bond and minimize ritualized aggression with the dog that we decide to bring at home or even so with the litter mate which they now share a household with as adults.

Secondly, any animal that has teeth can (and will) bite. So, this is why when aggression escalates from displays to full onset we need to have a plan in place and act on it.  Otherwise the likelihood of someone getting bitten is very real.

The simple, yet not easy advice I give my clients once we have done our job in understanding what is the underlining cause or causes for the displays or aggression is to treat all dogs in the household the same.

In other words, all dogs are taught that all good things come to those who wait. To dogs that wait their turn and are “polite” by exercising a good measure of self-restraint, instead of pushing their weight around in an effort to get a resource.

What is really effective about the approach above is that the dog that tends to be demanding and impatient and expecting coveted resources to be dolled out to him (or her) first, can learn that when the other dog gets something yummy, fun etc. that means that he will do so too!  This is classical conditioning at its best!  Classical conditioning is all about powerful associations.  In this case, the other dog serves as a signal to the aggressor that goodies are coming his way.  In no time and with the proper management piece in place, the aggressor has learned that it pays off when the other dog gets goodies because that predicts his own good fortune. Make no mistake, classical conditioning (also known as Pavlovian conditioning or associative learning) is incredibly powerful.

In part because it influences emotions. And emotions very often are linked to behavior.

The second reason why I advocate the model above over the “support the dominant” model is because none of the animals in the home are being bullied by the “dominant” dog. Moreover, the needs of all the dogs in the household will be met by a knowledgeable owner that has learned that controlling resources (stuff dogs want) and using these to establish some household rules makes for a happy and fair household.

Last, in addition to the above benefits, if dogs are taught to exercise self-control, which can be done in many different ways, you now have dogs that have benefited from being trained, which when done well it is really fun for the dogs and serves as fantastic mental stimulation, something most dogs have little of.

A trained dog now has some really nice behaviors under his belt that the owner can use not only when a potential problem might arise but as part of the dog’s daily living repertoire.   And who does not like living with a well- mannered dog at home?

Daisy

A potential client calls to see if I can take her 4-month-old Lab for a few days. It has been a while since I had a puppy for B&T and frankly I am looking forward to it for my sake and that of my two dogs.

They arrive and Daisy now out of the car begins to investigate. She runs in her cute puppy manner towards me as if she has met me before and I am her biggest friend.

I noticed a big grin on my face. Ah puppies! You got to love their energy and amusing ways. And how about that puppy-breath?

Now it's Deuce's and Rio’s turn to meet Daisy. Daisy has not had any experience (besides her parents) with adult dogs so we are eager to see her reaction. I bring both dogs out and have them investigate Daisy while Daisy remains next to her owner and separated by a gate from both dogs as to not overwhelm her by their approach, and to give me an opportunity to asses her reaction towards them.

She pees a bit in submission but otherwise she is happy to interact and the fun begins. The three of them are play bowing, taking turn sniffing each other, running and just having fun.

Daisy’s mom leaves and I make sure that she is comfortable.

As part of the board & train we will work on some basic obedience (drop it, loose leash walking, off, etc.) as well as to continue with her housetraining, and dog & dog interactions.

Finally all tucked in the dogs fall asleep. Daisy in her big crate next to Rio - who is lying on her bed as close as she can to the crate.

The next morning as Deuce lays in the kitchen Daisy approaches him eager to play. I am watching them and noticed that Deuce either has not fully woken up or is frankly over the cute puppy. Daisy continues to pester him and he lets out a growl. Daisy responds immediately giving Deuce the room he is asking for. I had told Daisy’s mom that most likely Deuce and Rio would “correct” Daisy.

The thing is this. Well-socialized adult dogs will cut young puppies slack when they act crazy and rambunctious towards them. However, this license begins to fade once the puppy turns 5 months of age - the beginning of adolescence in most dogs.

Corrections by adult dogs must be gentle: A sneer or a growl and even a gentle physical correction should do the trick to having the pup mend his or her ways.

Daisy was corrected three times by Deuce when she was here – all appropriate corrections and she responded also very appropriately.

In one occasion she rushed towards Deuce as he was (again!) lying down. This time I did not see exactly what Daisy did to warrant his growl, but I am assuming that she startled him because he was lying down as she rushed towards him -  perhaps she might have even stepped on him.

When I turned around Daisy had moved away from Deuce and was now sitting all alone in the kitchen. Ahhhh, I felt sorry for her. I went to her, picked her up and brought her to the sofa with me. Two seconds later she had bounced back to her happy and confident self and was now gnawing on an antler-bone that I was holding for her.

The next morning, I was curious to see if Deuce would once again engage in play with Daisy and he did!

The beauty of well-socialized dogs is that they help socialize younger pups by teaching them social skills but they have an understanding of what is an appropriate correction.

Because of their lack of overall experience, young puppies can be sensitive to the harsh treatment of other dogs- especially adult dogs and one should make sure that the interactions that they have with all dogs are overall positive as to avoid a pre-disposition to fear when it comes to dog & dog interactions.

After seeing Deuce’s reaction to Daisy that morning I began to fully relax knowing that Daisy had learned some really good lessons and that she had the social skills instilled by her sibs to continue to positively interact with all sorts of dogs.

Before she left, I was hoping to get some cute photos of her. It was almost impossible! The results were images of half a puppy, or a moving head and paw. Disappointed at my images, I finally took a picture of Daisy that revealed a tired pup just taking a rest from one more play session with her newfound “buds”.

Grr, Move Over

The thing about vacations (besides being totally necessary and fun) is that when you get back to your “regular” life you cannot avoid being confronted with a slew of things that were put on hold while you basked in the sun, climbed the steep mountain, etc. I got back from my (almost) three week vacation – yes, I tell myself under my breath, everybody (clients and my dogs) survived… no one is that indispensable… as I try to combat jet lag, allergies and lots of work needing my attention.

I am sitting at my desk listening to the webinar that I enrolled in before going on vacation in a rush, since tomorrow I have the last installment of it and I want to be prepared. For this reason I thought to pull out the frozen marrow bones that my dogs love. This is the perfect opportunity for them to chew in delight while I work in silence and without interruptions such as: ball throwing or tugging with a toy.

As I am wrapping up the webinar, I hear from the living room a growl and I think it is Deuce protecting his marrow bone from Rioja. Seconds later, Rio comes into the office and lies down on the rug boneless.

What a turn of events I think. It is normally Rio who ends up with all the bones while Deuce leaves his half worked-on bone behind and unattended. In my household, it is Rioja who is keener on anything edible and Deuce being more of a “perhaps-kind-of-guy”: perhaps I’ll eat my food this morning perhaps not…

As I keep working at the computer Rio who is in my office, emits a meek whine followed by a second one but she remains laying on the carpet. I turn around to see if I can figure out with little effort why she is whining. Deuce, on the other hand, is laying all stretched out - muzzle close to the carpet in the living room and near him are three (not two but three) marrow bones; one old- two as of this afternoon.

I get up and walk outside my office coaxing Rio to follow me but she won't. Now that is a change in roles! I think. Rioja left cold without any bones and Deuce the king of all bones!

I go over to Deuce and picked one of the bones for Rio. She grabs it from my hand and goes back to laying down in my office.

As I walk towards the kitchen with the intention of making some tea for myself I am feeling good about having resolved this family “drama” with both dogs content at the results. I also think that I wished I had seen Deuce “in action” when he growled at Rio over the bones. This is so not like Deuce and there you have - it is also very much like Deuce in the right circumstances.

This is exactly the type of scenario I wish dog owners the world-over would pay much closer attention too, instead of being so ready in labeling their dog’s relationships as a ongoing struggle for resources with little to none variation.

This afternoon what happened between Deuce and Rioja is a clear testimony of the fluidity of canine interactions. It is NOT about one of them being the top dog, the alpha or whatever other label we can come up with. And the other always the beta, looser or again another label describing a fixed pattern of relationship and communication between dogs that co-habit.

In this instance, Deuce who is as a norm less interested in bones and not such an avid chewer decides he wants not only his bone but also Rioja’s.

And Rioja, who is very keen on chewing, surrenders without much incident the coveted bone to Deuce. In fact, that little single growl from Deuce was heard “so clearly” by her that she sheepishly came to my office and remained there until I coaxed her out by positioning myself between her and Deuce.

Now, there are exceptions to the more fluid panorama I am presenting above between family dogs (or other groupings of dogs) where one dog is constantly being harassed or bulling by another. In this sad situation one is constantly getting the short end of the stick (or bone or…) and living a hellish life of stress and anxiety as to when he might be harassed once again. I feel so sorry for dogs in this situation. If the human in the household is not aware of this dynamic there is often little chance for the dog being harassed to find his/her needs met.

The message here is also of relaxed-vigilance. Just pay close attention on a regular basis to how your dogs are interacting. Pay attention to see if both dogs, and more than two if that is the case, search the company of the other(s). Do they have equal opportunities for places of rest? Valuable resources such as toys, chewies and the like going in and out through doors, etc.? Can they resolve their conflicts like Deuce and Rio with no need for physical contact or injury? It is also true, but in my experience less often found, that the owner/pet parent is doing everything right but the chemistry or friendship between the dogs is just not right. I guess they too are “stuck” with their siblings…

What has worked in my household is to have very clear in my mind what kind of interactions I will permit from my dogs towards one another and even a client’s dog that are here for training. I have a concrete plan of action should they begin to aggress towards one another over resources and I have learn as well from past mistakes to manage the dogs and most importantly their environment so that they can both co-exist in (almost) perfect harmony.

Call me crazy but knowing that my dogs live in an environment that they can feel safe in is one of the highlights of my day.

Sleeping with Dogs

There is a popular saying in Spanish that goes like this: “el que con perro(s) duerme se levanta con pulgas.” In English: If you sleep with [a] dog(s) you will wake up with fleas. Now, while this might be absolutely true if your dog has fleas it is also one of those empty glass/half full glass scenarios. There is so much more than getting fleas when it comes to sharing a bed with your furry (flea free) pal.

We do not sleep with our dogs on the bed. Not because sleeping with them will make them “dominant” (please, don’t get me started with the dog/dominant thing…) or because they smell bad or have fleas but simply because until very recently :) I was a very light sleeper… insomniac to tell the truth.

I have ample clients that want to know if it is okay to sleep with their dogs. And my answer is simply yes! If this is what you want to do. I would however have two cautionary “unless” scenarios in which I do not recommend sleeping with your dog.

1. Your dog guards the bed. i.e.: you try to get into bed and your dog is already on the bed and he/she receives you with a growl, or sneer or worse, will attempt to bite you if you try to make ever so small a space for yourself on the bed. If this is your home situation, please do not discipline your dog or sleep with him under these conditions. Instead call a reputable science-based trainer and have her help you. It is actually easy to “fix” if you know what you are doing :0)

2. You want to sleep with your pooch but your significant other does not. While not as serious- in my book as # 1, it is serious enough if your spouse/partner begins to resent the dog and takes it out on him/her (you know how easy it is to be passive-aggressive when in relationship and when we feel un-empowered…) Instead of imposing your dog on your mate, come up with some "what if" scenarios AKA: compromise! This is the very happy compromise we have reached in our household. It works great for John, our two dogs and myself:

Our dogs Deuce and Laika do not sleep with us on our bed but they do have “visiting” privileges. Laika sleeps wherever she wants. She normally starts in one of the dog beds in our bedroom and changes to the second – cocoon-like bed next to me. I wonder why she goes from one comfy bed to the other comfy bed… too drafty on bed one? Different feel and comfort for her not-so-young body? Closeness to me? Or because she has options? I guess, I will never know. Deuce sleeps in my office technically we share an office :), which is in front of our bedroom. He actually will put himself to bed by going to his crate when he is ready to power down… ah you got to love that! There is no bedside story or having to “force” him to go to bed.

In the am… very early in the am sometimes, Laika will either stand by my side or give me this tiny little whine. She is asking for permission and help to get on the bed. Up she comes. Two seconds later she is as tight as possible to John or me and curled into a little ball. Even though I hate feeling restricted I wonder who gets more enjoyment of such close proximity: Laika or me? Deuce will bark to let us know he is awake and ready to join us. We let him out of his crate and he comes into our bedroom, waiting until his release cue: Okay!!! And here we are: all piled up in one big warm bed.

I must confess that when we got Deuce the scenario above was not so smooth. Deuce would guard John and I from Laika. Guarding of resources between dogs IS normal dog behavior. Deuce was new to our household and not all sure of rules of the household and perhaps feeling a bit unglued for being in a new environment. Even though resource guarding between dogs is normal, we had zero tolerance for any display of aggression between our dogs in order to access us - their precious resource. No, she is my mom and dad… I was here first, etc. We implemented a fast rule: If either dog growled, sneered or gave the other one “the look” off they went; off the bed! No “what ifs” or excuses for the dog.

This is called negative punishment. No, there is no physical pain or fear-inducing intimidation towards the dog. In essence you remove a resource – something the dog wants. In this case, us and proximity to either one of us on the bed from the dog. With Deuce it only took very few trials for him to understand a couple of things:

1. There are household rules and bed rules: We are nice to each other and we do not aggress towards one another: Displays of aggression will lead to immediate social isolation! And for an animal (dogs in general) that is highly social this is big time punishing!

2. We share. Sometimes sharing is between two legged and four legged and sometimes the sharing is between the dogs only… I most definitively don’t want their stinky raw bones!

These simple rules when implemented with fairness and consistency –ah that pesky word… consistency, so hard for us humans… makes for a very peaceful household and very relaxed and happy dogs.