The thing about vacations (besides being totally necessary and fun) is that when you get back to your “regular” life you cannot avoid being confronted with a slew of things that were put on hold while you basked in the sun, climbed the steep mountain, etc. I got back from my (almost) three week vacation – yes, I tell myself under my breath, everybody (clients and my dogs) survived… no one is that indispensable… as I try to combat jet lag, allergies and lots of work needing my attention.
I am sitting at my desk listening to the webinar that I enrolled in before going on vacation in a rush, since tomorrow I have the last installment of it and I want to be prepared. For this reason I thought to pull out the frozen marrow bones that my dogs love. This is the perfect opportunity for them to chew in delight while I work in silence and without interruptions such as: ball throwing or tugging with a toy.
As I am wrapping up the webinar, I hear from the living room a growl and I think it is Deuce protecting his marrow bone from Rioja. Seconds later, Rio comes into the office and lies down on the rug boneless.
What a turn of events I think. It is normally Rio who ends up with all the bones while Deuce leaves his half worked-on bone behind and unattended. In my household, it is Rioja who is keener on anything edible and Deuce being more of a “perhaps-kind-of-guy”: perhaps I’ll eat my food this morning perhaps not…
As I keep working at the computer Rio who is in my office, emits a meek whine followed by a second one but she remains laying on the carpet. I turn around to see if I can figure out with little effort why she is whining. Deuce, on the other hand, is laying all stretched out - muzzle close to the carpet in the living room and near him are three (not two but three) marrow bones; one old- two as of this afternoon.
I get up and walk outside my office coaxing Rio to follow me but she won't. Now that is a change in roles! I think. Rioja left cold without any bones and Deuce the king of all bones!
I go over to Deuce and picked one of the bones for Rio. She grabs it from my hand and goes back to laying down in my office.
As I walk towards the kitchen with the intention of making some tea for myself I am feeling good about having resolved this family “drama” with both dogs content at the results. I also think that I wished I had seen Deuce “in action” when he growled at Rio over the bones. This is so not like Deuce and there you have - it is also very much like Deuce in the right circumstances.
This is exactly the type of scenario I wish dog owners the world-over would pay much closer attention too, instead of being so ready in labeling their dog’s relationships as a ongoing struggle for resources with little to none variation.
This afternoon what happened between Deuce and Rioja is a clear testimony of the fluidity of canine interactions. It is NOT about one of them being the top dog, the alpha or whatever other label we can come up with. And the other always the beta, looser or again another label describing a fixed pattern of relationship and communication between dogs that co-habit.
In this instance, Deuce who is as a norm less interested in bones and not such an avid chewer decides he wants not only his bone but also Rioja’s.
And Rioja, who is very keen on chewing, surrenders without much incident the coveted bone to Deuce. In fact, that little single growl from Deuce was heard “so clearly” by her that she sheepishly came to my office and remained there until I coaxed her out by positioning myself between her and Deuce.
Now, there are exceptions to the more fluid panorama I am presenting above between family dogs (or other groupings of dogs) where one dog is constantly being harassed or bulling by another. In this sad situation one is constantly getting the short end of the stick (or bone or…) and living a hellish life of stress and anxiety as to when he might be harassed once again. I feel so sorry for dogs in this situation. If the human in the household is not aware of this dynamic there is often little chance for the dog being harassed to find his/her needs met.
The message here is also of relaxed-vigilance. Just pay close attention on a regular basis to how your dogs are interacting. Pay attention to see if both dogs, and more than two if that is the case, search the company of the other(s). Do they have equal opportunities for places of rest? Valuable resources such as toys, chewies and the like going in and out through doors, etc.? Can they resolve their conflicts like Deuce and Rio with no need for physical contact or injury? It is also true, but in my experience less often found, that the owner/pet parent is doing everything right but the chemistry or friendship between the dogs is just not right. I guess they too are “stuck” with their siblings…
What has worked in my household is to have very clear in my mind what kind of interactions I will permit from my dogs towards one another and even a client’s dog that are here for training. I have a concrete plan of action should they begin to aggress towards one another over resources and I have learn as well from past mistakes to manage the dogs and most importantly their environment so that they can both co-exist in (almost) perfect harmony.
Call me crazy but knowing that my dogs live in an environment that they can feel safe in is one of the highlights of my day.
I am sitting at my desk listening to the webinar that I enrolled in before going on vacation in a rush, since tomorrow I have the last installment of it and I want to be prepared. For this reason I thought to pull out the frozen marrow bones that my dogs love. This is the perfect opportunity for them to chew in delight while I work in silence and without interruptions such as: ball throwing or tugging with a toy.
As I am wrapping up the webinar, I hear from the living room a growl and I think it is Deuce protecting his marrow bone from Rioja. Seconds later, Rio comes into the office and lies down on the rug boneless.
What a turn of events I think. It is normally Rio who ends up with all the bones while Deuce leaves his half worked-on bone behind and unattended. In my household, it is Rioja who is keener on anything edible and Deuce being more of a “perhaps-kind-of-guy”: perhaps I’ll eat my food this morning perhaps not…
As I keep working at the computer Rio who is in my office, emits a meek whine followed by a second one but she remains laying on the carpet. I turn around to see if I can figure out with little effort why she is whining. Deuce, on the other hand, is laying all stretched out - muzzle close to the carpet in the living room and near him are three (not two but three) marrow bones; one old- two as of this afternoon.
I get up and walk outside my office coaxing Rio to follow me but she won't. Now that is a change in roles! I think. Rioja left cold without any bones and Deuce the king of all bones!
I go over to Deuce and picked one of the bones for Rio. She grabs it from my hand and goes back to laying down in my office.
As I walk towards the kitchen with the intention of making some tea for myself I am feeling good about having resolved this family “drama” with both dogs content at the results. I also think that I wished I had seen Deuce “in action” when he growled at Rio over the bones. This is so not like Deuce and there you have - it is also very much like Deuce in the right circumstances.
This is exactly the type of scenario I wish dog owners the world-over would pay much closer attention too, instead of being so ready in labeling their dog’s relationships as a ongoing struggle for resources with little to none variation.
This afternoon what happened between Deuce and Rioja is a clear testimony of the fluidity of canine interactions. It is NOT about one of them being the top dog, the alpha or whatever other label we can come up with. And the other always the beta, looser or again another label describing a fixed pattern of relationship and communication between dogs that co-habit.
In this instance, Deuce who is as a norm less interested in bones and not such an avid chewer decides he wants not only his bone but also Rioja’s.
And Rioja, who is very keen on chewing, surrenders without much incident the coveted bone to Deuce. In fact, that little single growl from Deuce was heard “so clearly” by her that she sheepishly came to my office and remained there until I coaxed her out by positioning myself between her and Deuce.
Now, there are exceptions to the more fluid panorama I am presenting above between family dogs (or other groupings of dogs) where one dog is constantly being harassed or bulling by another. In this sad situation one is constantly getting the short end of the stick (or bone or…) and living a hellish life of stress and anxiety as to when he might be harassed once again. I feel so sorry for dogs in this situation. If the human in the household is not aware of this dynamic there is often little chance for the dog being harassed to find his/her needs met.
The message here is also of relaxed-vigilance. Just pay close attention on a regular basis to how your dogs are interacting. Pay attention to see if both dogs, and more than two if that is the case, search the company of the other(s). Do they have equal opportunities for places of rest? Valuable resources such as toys, chewies and the like going in and out through doors, etc.? Can they resolve their conflicts like Deuce and Rio with no need for physical contact or injury? It is also true, but in my experience less often found, that the owner/pet parent is doing everything right but the chemistry or friendship between the dogs is just not right. I guess they too are “stuck” with their siblings…
What has worked in my household is to have very clear in my mind what kind of interactions I will permit from my dogs towards one another and even a client’s dog that are here for training. I have a concrete plan of action should they begin to aggress towards one another over resources and I have learn as well from past mistakes to manage the dogs and most importantly their environment so that they can both co-exist in (almost) perfect harmony.
Call me crazy but knowing that my dogs live in an environment that they can feel safe in is one of the highlights of my day.
