Who wins? Who Looses?

Life is really an ongoing set of evaluations and negotiations affecting those that are part of our lives, be it a child, friend, parent, and even our pets.

If reaching a consensus where all parties get something they want or need is difficult, imagine when there is one silent partner “sitting at the negotiation table.”

That silent individual is often our pet! Many times we make decisions that are convenient for us, sometimes, they might be necessary, but either way they affect our pets negatively. Okay, sure, life is anything but perfect, but still don’t we owe the same consideration to our "silent” partner the way that we would for a family member? Or a beloved friend? When making changes to routines, lifestyles, and the like?

In my professional work, I interact with lots and lots of different clients in a myriad of different situations. I see at times how the client’s needs clashes with the needs of their dog. I think that sometimes this happens just because clients are not professional dog people who might not know how to solve a given situation. They might not be able to come up with a solution that satisfies the situation in a way that both parties win. The good news is that many times, I see my client’s face light up when an idea that I produce seems to fit the bill. So it is not that people are selfish (some of the time at least) :) but finding solutions where everyone wins is not always easy.

So the pressing questions is: How can we  make sure that when we need to solve a problem or make changes in our lives, those changes support also the day to day needs of our dog(s)?

I strongly believe that education about who dogs truly are is really at the core of answering the above question. In my view, the only way that we can even have a chance in taking their doggy needs into consideration.

Here are some examples of situation where I see people’s needs not always matching the well-being of the dog:

Long hours at work… dog is taken to daycare everyday for the whole day! Can you even imagine how taxing this is for many dogs? While some dog & dog interaction is really good for most dogs, the daycare solution as a way of life, is for most dogs, really not that good. This excess of over-stimulation can really wreak-havoc on the nervous system of the dog.

Finding the “happy-spot” of mental and physical stimulation for our dog is really an exercise in close observation. Dogs, just like people, are individuals and so are their needs for social interaction. Some like a lot of it and some don’t. Same goes for dog parks. I have known of dog owners that continue to take their dog to the dog park even when their dog is clearly afraid of interacting with dogs because they enjoy the social interaction they get with other dog owners.

One solution would be to mix-and-match the day to day activities of our dog when long hours at work demand that they stay alone - basically in boredom or long hours of social isolation. The idea would be that the dog is taken to a reputable daycare (if he enjoys the company of dogs) once or twice a week on short days at work for us. The rest of the week, again a reputable dog walker can come by and give the dog some at home play or go for a walk.  Also, leaving behind an interactive food-toy will help almost any dog pass the longs hours with at least something interesting to do.

What about on-leash walks?

For the most part, these barely scratch the surface of the daily physical as well as mental stimulation our dogs need!  There is nothing wrong with this activity either but there must be some thought as to the real benefit our dog is getting:

Does your dog enjoy the activity? If so, how do you know? What can you observe that tell you your pal really looks forward to it?

Once on the walk, does your dog get ample opportunity to engage in the environment in the form of sniffing, peeing, etc?

Is your dog constantly being jerked around on the collar because he never learned not to pull on the leash?  Can you imagine being taken out on a “date” and receiving this kind of treatment? Yes, your dog is the one that is doing the pulling one can argue, but in all fairness, can we take the time and effort to teach him how not to do so, this way both parties can really enjoy the walk?

Perhaps you LOVE dressing your dog in “cute” outfits enhanced with a matching hair-bow and nail polish. Again, perhaps there is some benefit for this outlet. It means that the dog is being handled when the outfits are being put off and on - same for the hair-bow and this could be enjoyable for both parties. Nonetheless, we need to make sure the dog is comfortable with the handling which means that the pup was taught that handling feels good.

When you leave town on vacation is your dog also having a good time because you have made sure that whoever is in his care really is doing a good job and nothing less than you do for your dog on a regular basis instead of just looking at the expense of the sitter? Yes, pets are expensive and that should be considered before acquiring one.

Sometimes, of course, we need to do “things” to our pets that don’t feel good and yet they are still necessary. Say a visit to the veterinarian for some blood work, or remaining immobile because of an injury, however, the issue is hardly avoiding all “bad things” for our dogs as this is impossible. Yet we can still slow the decision process enough that we take into consideration how our decisions will affect our dog. True, this requires honesty and even generosity because at times, the best solution for our dog might not be the first thing that comes to our minds or the cheapest, easiest, etc.

Once a friend asked me who my client was:  The person? Or the dog? The answer is that the client is the one who writes the check- and so far, no dog has done so.  However, even though the person is always the client, my professional ethic requires that I advocate for all the dogs that I work with and frankly I think of this duty as an honor. As I see it, my job is enriched just by the opportunity I've been given to speak on behalf of the dog. What a privilege this is!

Lumper or Splitter?

A friend of mine gave me an orchid and the amazing thing is that after several months it is still alive! Even John said to me: whatever you are doing to that plant is working… look at it, it is flowering again. I went to the powder room and sure enough there she stands beautiful… displaying some purplish little flowers.

The thing here is that I always manage to kill the plants under my care. Either I water them too much (maybe out of guilt of having previously forgotten to do so) or I just forget that they need water and sun (or partial sun or partial shade) to survive. But this time it has been different.

Now get this, I had notice how well my plant was doing and encouraged I was thinking of trying my hand at a second one. Then came John’s comment and with his comment a boost of confidence! I can take care of plants.

My new-found success with plants made me realize the importance of feeling confident for future successes. Because I have had a positive experience with this plant, I was encouraged to buy a second one.

Come to think of it, creating confidence in our dogs has the same effect. When we vow to teach them to become more comfortable with their environment we instill confidence. I can think of the example of putting on a harness on a dog that has never worn one (or a muzzle, collar, walk on leash, etc.) step by step - making sure that the dog is participating at his/her own pace in the process instead of forcing the dog to fit into the piece of equipment.

I remember once in the Bay area where my clients have talked to someone that convinced them that their Golden had to be able to walk on top of the drainage grate, so when the three of us went to their local park they showed me what they were doing in order to have the dog walk on the grate. Unfortunately for the dog, my clients have failed to pay attention to how their dog was perceiving this new experience and what he was communicating by his body language. When I saw this, I asked them why was it that they insisted their dog walk on top of the drainage grate and her answer was: "Because he has to."

Don’t get me wrong folks, these people LOVED their dog dearly but unfortunately they were not seeing life from their dog’s point of view. Sure, I agree that there are always things and situations that our dogs can learn to handle with more finesse, less stress and even enjoy more but rest assure that the goal is as important as the process.

Of course we can, for example, stop the dog from barking by shocking him with a collar without even investigate as to why is he barking. There are other solutions to this annoying problem: We can teach the dog an alternate, an incompatible behavior to the barking. Or we can modify the environment, or
manage the dog and the environment. Yes indeed, we can teach the dog to come to us by zapping him with a shock when he does not readily come to us but, but… is this really how we want to relate to our animals?

Dogs are not unlike children who soar when praised (or given something they find really valuable when they have done something we approve of). Our dogs also need our encouragement so that they can learn with less “wear and tear”. One of the ways to achieve this is to build their confidence little by little by carefully observing the dog for signs of too much stress fear or anxiety as they
are exposed to something novel or fear inducing (from the dog’s point of view). The truth is that there is always a better way for us to teach our dogs.

Animal trainer Bob Bailey coined the phrase or concept of “splitter” or “lumper”. And he asks: Are you a “lumper” or a “splitter”? If you are a “lumper” you then “lump” or organize learning without much consideration for how the process is affecting the learner, you kind of just lay it all out and hope that the animal can learn and cope with the “material”. A splitter will “split” or present the material in very small steps. The steps are as small as they need to be for the animal to be successful every step of the way. The trainer only moves forward with a higher level of difficulty once the animal has shown proficiency in execution of the step one is training. Can you see how this approach considers the well-being of the animal, the process of learning and the end result or final behavior? Which believe it or not will be more resistant to extinction.

I realize that sometimes we just want to get to our goal… there are pressures everywhere to be faster and more “productive”. It is so easy I know, to fall victim to this MO. Perhaps though, what we all need are often reminders about how terrific it is to feel confident. Confidence is a better place to be and a much better platform for learning.