Setting Boundaries

I have often read and even used the phrase myself of “setting boundaries” for dogs. But what exactly do we mean by this? And why (and if) should we set boundaries?

The dictionary defines boundary as: a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing lines. A boundary wall. A limit of a subject or sphere of activity: a community without class or political boundaries.

While this might shed some light as to what we mean when we say that we need to set some boundaries, I want to explore the topic further. In setting boundaries for our dogs I suggest we ask ourselves the following: How does this boundary setting look in the daily lives we share with our dogs? Who will be teaching the boundaries? And who will reinforce or exercise consequence? And no, I am not talking here about shock collars, water bottles, vinegar in the eyes, etc. type consequences… we can do better than hurting dogs, people - in order to get our message across.
For me then, boundaries mean teaching rules to my dogs in all sorts of circumstances.

For example: If they come onto the bed in the am to say hi and just hang, Rio absolutely cannot paw us on the face as she did the other day to get our attention. When she did she was asked immediately to get off the bed and she was not invited up until much later. Every single time she even raises her front paw she is off the bed.

What they can chew. My house is really impeccable - almost with no trace of dogs living here except for dog beds, basket of toys – okay there are dog toys on the floor on a regular basis and yes, the dog hair that we vacuum twice weekly. I do not have legs of furniture that have teeth marks or paw prints on the sofas etc. I have made sure my dogs where taught early on by re-directing them to something appropriate if they had the “thought” of gnawing on our furniture. We also make sure the dogs are properly exercised every single day and that they are also mentally tired which makes management of mischievousness or just pent up energy a cinch.

Rules or boundaries are also in place for dog & dog interactions. Be it between Deuce and Rio or my dogs with their pals. I watch these interactions like a hawk and intervene when needed. Here is an example of a consequence: When they have a friend over or a Board & Train client’s dog, sometimes Deuce will resort to wanting to herd Rio. What he does is benign, but still obnoxious: He proceeds to go after Rio’s neck when she is playing with the other dog or just getting somewhat excited. I ask Deuce to stop by saying enough Deuce! Most of the time he can curtail his managing of Rio by me telling him to stop as above. However, if I notice that curtailing himself is becoming a struggle for him, I give him a tennis ball for him to carry around.

He can’t carry the ball around – which he loves doing as part of his love for all balls, and get to Rio’s neck. There - problem solved!

Rules must be in place for ANY child & dog interaction. I don’t have young kids in my life but when my dogs – which really like kids are around other peoples' kids I watch these closely and re-direct both kids and dogs (mostly it's the kids that I need to educate, quite frankly) as to how I want them to interact with my dogs.

For families with kids this is a pressing matter. For families with dogs that do not like kids this is an emergency. And in the interest of clarity: Most dogs find kids (the age demographics vary here) too unpredictable and highly arousing to feel comfortable around them. Kids will be kids… think of little girls screaming or little boys running at the dog with a plastic sword…

Even those dogs that truly enjoy hanging out with kids, have limits as to how much they can take. Last, if parents do not set rules of engagement between their children and dogs – theirs or others, everyone loses.

Kids do not necessarily know how to safely interact with dogs- they must be taught to be empathetic and respectful. By this I mean: No riding the dog as a pony- it is NOT a pony! No pulling of any extremities, hitting, kicking, etc. Respecting the dog’s bed, crate or anytime the dog moves away from the child – again here the parent must exercise choices for both parties. If children are taught early on how to respectfully engage with any animal chances are they will share many great moments together and both will remain safe and in the home.

These are a few examples as to how we set boundaries for our dogs and dogs in our care. One last thing, none of the boundaries I set with my dogs is based on the grossly misunderstood (social) dominance paradigm. And I strongly suggest you scrutinize any given advice as to setting rules and consequences that are based on dogs wanting to dominate us.

Boundaries are good for dogs when they are fair and we have taken the time to teach them what we expect of them. It puts the responsibility on us to keep everyone safe while extending a good quality of life for all.

When dogs have learned what is expected of them they can relax. In those instances when they cannot follow through with our rules we must take a moment to figure out what about “breaking” the rule is reinforcing for the dog – as the behavior will continue. Once we have done so, it behooves us to find ways to fill in that need appropriately so that the boundaries remain in place.

Redirecting

It is early in the morning and I am still in bed. My eyes are closed, yet I can still feel a pair of eye staring at me.

Then I hear a tiny whimper; and now I am pretending to be asleep. I keep my eyes closed for that effect and try hard not to crack a smile. Seconds later another little whimper and this time, I give in. Hop up, Rio, I tell her, and in an nanosecond I have a flying dog lying next to me on the bed.

Now I am fully-awake and engaging with Rio. This is one of the sweetest moments of the day for me; just hanging out on the bed with the dogs as I contemplate what’s on my plate on that given day.

Rio begins to lick my hands as her tail wags fast. I remove my hands in an effort to have her stop licking which I don’t like. This works for a minute. She goes back to licking my hands. I
now have my trainer’s cap on and I ask her instead to go get a toy. She jumps off the bed and she is gone for a few seconds. Ahh, she might not come back at all – I think. But here she is again! Jumping almost vertically on to the bed and missing me by a few inches.

In her mouth is a very “dead” alligator that has lost its inside a long time ago. Together we begin tugging at the gator and having some fun.

Redirecting our dogs to engage in a more “appropriate” behavior to have them stop one that we do not want is one of the best kept secrets of successful trainers. It gives the animal an equally (or sometimes even more) reinforcing behavior to engage in as well as preventing the frustration people feel when their dog is doing something they don’t like.

Redirecting, however, comes with a few rules:
1. We cannot ask our dog to do something that the dog has not learned yet. For example, asking the dog to go to his bed when no one has taken the time to teach the dog what that really means.
2. The alternative must be something that dog wants to do as well as (i.e.) finds the redirected behavior as reinforcing as item #1.
3. It must be very specific.
4. It must be reinforced.

In my bed situation with Rio, I asked her to go get a toy (her choice) because this is something that she has learned to do in the context of us coming in the front door after a lengthy absence. In the past she would get super excited; she would whine (she still does) jump either on us or up in the air - Kangaroo style. Now we ask her to go get a toy and she gladly complies because she has learned that we will engage with her either by tugging with the toy that she selected or we will throw it for her if it is a ball. She also got what she wanted which was social interaction. We have now translated that behavior to the morning-bed routine and again it works for both parties.

Another aspect that I consider important about protocol like the redirect or in behavior/training parlance a DRI (differential schedule of incompatible behavior),  Rio can’t lick me if she is holding a toy in her mouth :) It's in fact that it slows us down to engage with the dog. We are having an engagement instead of just reacting and yelling impatiently at the dog STOP THAT NOW!!!!

And as a result of our yelling, we now have a dog that either is confused because he has no clue what to do instead or worse, a dog that is scared of us due to our over- the-top reaction. Voids are difficult for dogs. That is why they also get into trouble! They don’t know what to do with their “free-time,” with the person knocking at the front door, etc.

Whenever I use a DRI with my own dogs or I suggest and train my client’s dogs to an alternative, I feel very good about myself and the situation because I recognized that now the dog is getting something that he wants and it is something as well that the person can live with.

Try this at home: Next time you want your dog to stop some “obnoxious” behavior, suggest to him that he does something he can do and will want to do and go about feeling really good about yourself too!