Little Slaves

I am walking towards the kitchen after delivering to Deuce and Rio two hot meals. I cannot help but think to myself, half amused half-serious that at times we become our dogs little “slaves”. They are driven to daycare like children are driven to soccer practices, their muddy paws wiped after playing outside in the snow - now mud. Their beds and blankets washed, and so on.

After amusing myself with the list of “to-dos” for my dogs I begin to ponder about how to accurately describe the role we play in our dog’s lives. What “model” best describes our relationship? This is a question that I have asked myself frequently - always trying to hone in the perfect answer, the all-inclusive answer.

Lately, I have come to the conclusion that the “label” that best describe us in our commitment to our dogs is “pet parents”.

Yes, I know, I cringe too at the sound of it! Too esoteric, too woo woo, too cute, the list goes on. But hear me out, besides the corny connotation of this label I adhere to it because in effect there is scientific evidence to support that due to their ancestral past, our roles to our dogs should be the role of “parents”.

Our dogs, as descendants of wolves, are reminiscent in their behavioral traits to young (immature) wolves. They have inherited infantile characteristics of young wolves such as engaging in play and barking amongst others.

What’s more, despite the popularity of the dominance theory with proponents sustaining that there is a dominant (or alpha wolf/dog or sometimes a dominant/alpha pair) with everyone else in the pack being “submissive” to the pair, the model that best resembles wolves living in the wild is wolves that co-existing in what resembles a [human] family: With the adult wolves in charge of nurturing and protecting their young. There are also “roles” for “wolf-aunts and uncles” who partake in some of the "responsibilities” of caring for the young. Once the young reach maturity they might leave the family group to form their own. To read more about this, visit: http://www.npwrc.usgs.gov/resource/mammals/alstat/index.htm

The model of “pet parent” also “works” for me because it reminds me constantly that it is me who must protect and make wise choices for my dogs. I get to decide what nutritious food they eat and the quantities in order to keep their weight just right. I also decide when they get to be off-leash and when they must be on-leash.

And lastly, this model also puts us in the fun position of dolling out the goods! It’s like Xmas everyday! I LOVE being a pet-parent and can’t but laugh and join in when they act goofy in ways that only John (the other pet-parent) and I get to witness or when I see them romping happily off-leash.

I was talking to some clients this afternoon and I caught myself telling them that when our dogs respond in-kind to us (they come when we call, they snuggle with us, etc.) we are in essence being reinforced by their attention and “love” thus we ask again and again.

What an interesting loop this is: We give and we receive. And isn't this the pivotal point in those very special relationships with our dogs?

Parenting A Dog

As I am preparing for a trip to my dad’s 80th birthday, my friend Jon and I are exchanging notes about how hard it is for us to leave town because of our animals. Yep! I am SO done with traveling. For too many reasons to enlist but among them is the idea of not being around to make sure Deuce and Laika are doing well. However, I decided to share with Jon how I deal with the conflict of traveling and leaving the pups behind:

I do everything in my power to make sure the dogs are safe. If they are safe, then I can begin to relax and enjoy the trip. I strongly believe that those of us that have pets must assume the position of pet parent. A pet parent is exactly that. The one that makes sure the pet’s well-being and needs are met. Parenting a dog means learning and understanding their nature and attending to their needs. It also means being an advocate for our dogs. Advocacy begins by recognizing and acknowledging their individual limitations. Be it their inability to be in close proximity with other dogs, surrounded by people at a public event, etc. By truly seeing our dogs with their challenges we can be fair to them in our expectations as well as make better choices for them.

However, I am NOT advocating giving up on your dog. Instead, help your dog become comfortable within his/her environment and social interactions. How one can achieve a balance between their safety and trust in us without excessively hindering their existence is a decision making dance that we need to embark upon daily. Hopefully, the ideas below can give you some guidance.

When possible, give your dog a choice.

• The choice to approach someone or not to approach them.
• Choice of two kinds of toys to play with.
• To engage with dogs in play or not.
• Having access to more than one resting place in the home.
• To leave the room, if he is noise sensitive, just before you are going to vacuum.

Be mindful of their personal limitations (physical and emotional).

• Observe their body language. Assess if your dog is happy, mildly stressed, or outright fearful about a given situation, interaction and act accordingly to protect your dog etc.

Enrich his/her life.

• By engaging your dog’s Seeking System with mental as well as physical activities that they enjoy. (Dissecting and feeding games, training - especially clicker training where they can execute more control over their environment).

See with new eyes.

• If you have two dogs (or a past dog that you loved) remember that every dog is an individual. Instead of wishing your dog was different or more like your other dog, acknowledge their differences.

Your needs or your dogs?

• Be aware of your personal needs as separate from your dog’s! For example:
• Does your dog really want to go to the art-fair? Or bringing her along is your need?
• Is your dog truly enjoying participating in agility etc? Or you feel that agility is good for her so you decide to put her through the class, trail etc? Taking the time to evaluate your needs and your dog’s is critical especially when the welfare of your dog is at stake.

Be consistent with expectations and consequences for your dog.

• Make sure your dog understands your rules. For example: Sometimes you feed him scraps from the table, but you get upset if he begs when you are having dinner. As you can see, this scenario is confusing and not fair to the dog. If you do not want him begging, do not feed him from the table.
• Bring some structure into their lives.
• Dogs thrive when their lives are structured sprinkled with novelty here and there. For example: engage your dog in a daily activity, but try and vary the activity often. One idea is to keep meal times somewhat consistent but vary how he/she must get the food. Sometimes use a food-dispensing toy, other time make them “hunt” for their food etc.

Engage in daily play that is fun for both of you!

• Let your dog win often to increase his self-esteem.
• Remember that when dogs are playing they cannot be fearful or concerned - this is how their brains are wired.
• If your dog is not keen in playing with you please invest some time and energy in finding some sort of game that you both enjoy. If this sounds like mission impossible to you, get some professional help.

Do not assume you're are helping your dog…

• In the words of horse/clicker trainer Alexandra Kurland… “Just because you are using positive reinforcement (no aversives), it does not mean the animal is having a positive learning experience”.

Commit to Building a Relationship with your dog

• Spend quality time with your dog.
• Making ongoing efforts to see things from their perspective, keeping them out of harms way and engaging in mutually enjoyable activities are measures at the crux of developing a relationship.