As I am preparing for a trip to my dad’s 80th birthday, my friend Jon and I are exchanging notes about how hard it is for us to leave town because of our animals. Yep! I am SO done with traveling. For too many reasons to enlist but among them is the idea of not being around to make sure Deuce and Laika are doing well. However, I decided to share with Jon how I deal with the conflict of traveling and leaving the pups behind:
I do everything in my power to make sure the dogs are safe. If they are safe, then I can begin to relax and enjoy the trip. I strongly believe that those of us that have pets must assume the position of pet parent. A pet parent is exactly that. The one that makes sure the pet’s well-being and needs are met. Parenting a dog means learning and understanding their nature and attending to their needs. It also means being an advocate for our dogs. Advocacy begins by recognizing and acknowledging their individual limitations. Be it their inability to be in close proximity with other dogs, surrounded by people at a public event, etc. By truly seeing our dogs with their challenges we can be fair to them in our expectations as well as make better choices for them.
However, I am NOT advocating giving up on your dog. Instead, help your dog become comfortable within his/her environment and social interactions. How one can achieve a balance between their safety and trust in us without excessively hindering their existence is a decision making dance that we need to embark upon daily. Hopefully, the ideas below can give you some guidance.
I do everything in my power to make sure the dogs are safe. If they are safe, then I can begin to relax and enjoy the trip. I strongly believe that those of us that have pets must assume the position of pet parent. A pet parent is exactly that. The one that makes sure the pet’s well-being and needs are met. Parenting a dog means learning and understanding their nature and attending to their needs. It also means being an advocate for our dogs. Advocacy begins by recognizing and acknowledging their individual limitations. Be it their inability to be in close proximity with other dogs, surrounded by people at a public event, etc. By truly seeing our dogs with their challenges we can be fair to them in our expectations as well as make better choices for them.
However, I am NOT advocating giving up on your dog. Instead, help your dog become comfortable within his/her environment and social interactions. How one can achieve a balance between their safety and trust in us without excessively hindering their existence is a decision making dance that we need to embark upon daily. Hopefully, the ideas below can give you some guidance.
When possible, give your dog a choice.
- The choice to approach someone or not to approach them.
- Choice of two kinds of toys to play with.
- To engage with dogs in play or not.
- Having access to more than one resting place in the home.
- To leave the room, if he is noise sensitive, just before you are going to vacuum.
Be mindful of their personal limitations (physical and emotional).
- Observe their body language. Assess if your dog is happy, mildly stressed, or outright fearful about a given situation, interaction and act accordingly to protect your dog etc.
- By engaging your dog’s Seeking System with mental as well as physical activities that they enjoy. (Dissecting and feeding games, training - especially clicker training where they can execute more control over their environment).
See with new eyes.
- If you have two dogs (or a past dog that you loved) remember that every dog is an individual. Instead of wishing your dog was different or more like your other dog, acknowledge their differences.
Your needs or your dogs?
- Be aware of your personal needs as separate from your dog’s! For example:
- Does your dog really want to go to the art-fair? Or bringing her along is your need?
- Is your dog truly enjoying participating in agility etc? Or you feel that agility is good for her so you decide to put her through the class, trail etc? Taking the time to evaluate your needs and your dog’s is critical especially when the welfare of your dog is at stake.
- Make sure your dog understands your rules. For example: Sometimes you feed him scraps from the table, but you get upset if he begs when you are having dinner. As you can see, this scenario is confusing and not fair to the dog. If you do not want him begging, do not feed him from the table.
- Bring some structure into their lives.
- Dogs thrive when their lives are structured sprinkled with novelty here and there. For example: engage your dog in a daily activity, but try and vary the activity often. One idea is to keep meal times somewhat consistent but vary how he/she must get the food. Sometimes use a food-dispensing toy, other time make them “hunt” for their food etc.
- Let your dog win often to increase his self-esteem.
- Remember that when dogs are playing they cannot be fearful or concerned - this is how their brains are wired.
- If your dog is not keen in playing with you please invest some time and energy in finding some sort of game that you both enjoy. If this sounds like mission impossible to you, get some professional help.
- In the words of horse/clicker trainer Alexandra Kurland… “Just because you are using positive reinforcement (no aversives), it does not mean the animal is having a positive learning experience”.
- Spend quality time with your dog.
- Making ongoing efforts to see things from their perspective, keeping them out of harms way and engaging in mutually enjoyable activities are measures at the crux of developing a relationship.
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