Ask with Abandonment

We constantly want our dogs to do stuff for us.  And that is not really a problem. One could argue that any relationship is to a greater extent built on what the individuals in the relationship do for one another.  While, of course, our relationship with our dog(s) is precious, I am not saying that it is or should be equated to relationship we have with other people.

Then again, our relationship with our dogs can easily gravitate between us wanting something from them because it pleases us- I am thinking here of how much we love to have Deuce join us on the sofa every evening instead of “retiring” to his crate early in the evening.  Yes, Deuce and I are the early-rises in the family so I guess it makes sense that he wants to retire early!  LOL.

Or the times where we do know better and we need our dogs to do something right then and now because their safety or the safety of others might be at stake.

So again, the problem is not in the “asking” or in the wanting- or even in having the expectation of the dog complying over and over again with our requests.

The problem lies in not understanding how to best use reinforcers (what the dog wants a given moment or would work for).

There are many qualities to any reinforcer.  I will mention a few and expand on some.

1. What kind of reinforcer are we offering? Here again we can argue that it is not only what specifically it is such as: food, play, quiet time as social interaction, access to other dogs, a good sniff, etc. But is it the “appropriate” reinforcer for the behavior?
2. The immediacy in producing the goody.
3. The relationship between “counts” of behavior and the times these are reinforced. This is called a schedule of reinforcement. Depending on the schedule what the results in “correct” answers.  
4. The how the reinforcer is being delivered and advanced technique that can really up the game in getting more of what we want from our pup, etc.

If we are asking our dogs to do something that, for the most part, is considered difficult for the dog to do mainly because there are other competing reinforcers at the moment we must show up and offer “gold”.  Otherwise we are fooling ourselves that our dog will be interested in complying.

And please remember…DOGS DO NOT WANT TO PLEASE US! What they want is what they want.
If pleasing us produces something the dog wants, guess what?  The dog would continue to do it.  It is that simple, yet that powerful.  This is your first tip to success in having your dog comply with you.

Time and time again I have clients tell me sometimes frustrated, and always disappointed that there dogs are not minding them.  Once they understand how to use reinforcers (yes there is a science to it folks!), their dogs become much more interested in them. And everybody is happy.

To give you a specific example: I am working with this client who by any standard has more knowledge and interest in working with her dog than the average pet parent.  Her dog is awesome! I want this dog.  Now, her awesome dog is also an adolescent who on top of it all has not been neutered.  Yep, two levels of complications here for my distressed client.

She tells me she needs to work on recall (come when called) ASAP.  So we get busy.  I learn on the spot that her dog really likes to tug; didn’t I tell you that her dog is awesome?

I begin to tug with him and yes, he is a beautiful tugger.  We get to work with tug and recall.

First on line then off line.  Now my happier client has something else up her sleeve to offer her dog if he is really not interested in food. Even the food mongers also reach their limit into how much food they can eat.
A few minutes into the dog working with me and I have a dog that is doing constant check in just wondering when I will ask him to run to me to take the tug for us to play.

The check-in becomes so predictable that we are laughing.

Another example in how to work with changing how a dog feels, that is the EMOTIONAL aspect of the dog, is in us being able to pair something so incredible-worth-while that it will trump the fear the dog is experiencing when faced with something “scary”.  Here our only -yet hugely important concern is to PAIR or ASSOCIATE the positive item with the non-positive or scary stimulus. So far, that appears easy right?  Show something “good” that the dog wants and viola!  You are changing the association. But not so fast… the devil is in the details.

Once again, if the scary thing is too big (as in really, really scary) it most likely will trump even the most delicious morsel. So understanding how to set this up is really important to reach success and be fair to the dog. Timing both events is also crucial because when we are talking about associations we want the scary thing to always be paired with lovely powerful stuff for the dog.

So, my suggestions in ways to use reinforcers (and establish good “pairings”) are below:

1. The easy part:  When you want your dog to do something for you, don’t just ask mindlessly and with expectation that he “should” (or else…) but really think if what you offering at that moment is really what your dog wants there and then.  Expanded on pt. 4 below.

2. Learn all the fantastic things your dog loves. Write them down!  And become very diligent in producing all these amazing gold nuggets to your advantage. Play around, experiment, take note of success and keep practicing.

3. If you are working with emotional stuff (fear, aggression, anxiety of any sort) please hire someone with experience and that commits to using the science of animal learning (get some referrals- it never hurts) to help you through the process. Once you understand this you should be able to carry on some of the work on your own.

4. You have heard of the saying - and I am paraphrasing here: “I want to be the person my dog thinks I am.” So, if you are so nice to your dog that he thinks you are awesome that is terrific!  Continue then to be really generous with your dog.  Being really generous with your pup implies for me being aware of what they need and want too, not only what we want.  Stop. Think. Evaluate. Give what is wanted at that moment.  And then, ask with abandonment.

Oh No, Not the Dominant Thing Again, Please!

Yes, our dogs (if you have more than one dog at home) are individuals and we want to treat them as such. However, aren’t there times when we need to treat them equally? So, here is a scenario that I have heard from some of my clients and that I have witnessed with my own dogs.

Deuce and Laika get a snack mid-day. Mostly it is whatever goodies I have in the fridge that is good for them that can also be stuffed in a Kong. Or, an old-time favorite: sardines tightly packed with a dry small bone. This past week, I noticed that Deuce, who is not as good as Laika in dissecting his food out of tight Kongs, had come back from the backyard kind of soon… Mmm, I wonder what happened, I remember thinking but continued working. Shortly thereafter, I see Ms. Laika with a pretty full Kong- tossing it here and there as her favorite strategy to get the job done fast! Ah, now I know what happened. Laika went outside where Deuce was working on his Kong and basically took it away from him.

I then went and took the Kong away from Laika and gave it back to Deuce, calling Laika in with me. So here is the turn of events and my take on it:

What Laika did: perfectly normal (from a dog’s point of view).
Deuce’s response: i.e.: acquiesce without putting up a fight also a perfectly normal behavioral choice. Indeed Deuce chose NOT to fight Laika for the Kong, but instead walked away from her and came in looking for me …you will see later why I know this.

As I was washing dishes later that evening, I thought about how sad and detrimental to the welfare of a dog it must be when it is being bullied on a regular basis. Bullying between dogs does not mean that there has to be physical contact, a fight or blood all over the place. Bullying is also intimidation -- most likely what Laika did to Deuce when she wanted more than her fare share.

Lucky for Deuce, I know how to handle a situation like this. It is simple! No bullying in my household. And after all I make the rules because I am the parent (pet parent that is) and I pay the mortgage. Unfortunately, for countless dogs and their guardians, some of the my clients, they have heard that they MUST support the “dominant” dog in their household. So in other words, if I (or anyone for that matter) could accurately determine which of the dogs is dominant, we should allow all sort of naughty behaviors from that dog. And, just ignore the other dog – choosing not to intervene since this will interfere with the dog’s relationship or their status.

Unfortunately, it is not that simple to figure out which of the household dogs is the “dominant” one. In essence there is not such a thing as a dominant dog. So what exactly is a “dominant” dog? The answer depends on whom you ask. The popular definition of “dominant” dog is a dog that growls when groomed, jumps or leans on people or does not come when called, is also often referred as acting “dominant” or is “dominant” by temperament.

Now, if we look at the scientific literature (and there is plenty) the definition of dominance changes. First off, the term dominant does not appear as a “stand- alone” term but it is linked with the word “social” as in social dominance. This is an important distinction and here is why: According to the scientific literature, dogs are not dominant by nature or by temperament. A dog may challenge another dog when it comes to the acquisition of a valuable resource- and it is the dog who decides what is valuable, not the human.

Dogs may also challenge a given dog in a specific context but not in another. In essence: social dominance as defined in the animal behavioral literature is fluid. It is based on the relationship between individual competition for valuable resources as well as being context specific! For example: Laika and Deuce have to share the spotlight, their toys and their home etc, whenever I have a client’s dog stay with us for training. What I have witnessed many times is how Laika or Deuce and the guest dog negotiate over resources - be it the larger bed, the privileged spot next to me when watching a video, and on and on. In other words, my dogs, which normally lay on their beds, readily allowed the visiting dog take the (larger) bed when they are more interested in lying outside in the sun. It is not that Deuce or Laika cannot lie on their beds, but in this context, they are willing to share a coveted resource because they'd rather lie somewhere else.

The good news is that dogs, for the most part, (as well as other animals with complex social structures) resolve a conflict by not having one to begin with. Instead, they learn how to negotiate  based on the specifics of the relationship with another dog(s) at a given moment in time. What these scientific findings mean to the human-dog relationship is that we too should relate to our dogs as “partners” in a life of mutual collaboration and friendship versus viewing our dog as “dominant” or adversarial.

The scientific theory of social dominance asks that dog guardians/owners recognize that the behaviors they are labeling as displays of dominance are, for the most part, ways by which a dog is either communicating, i.e. I have not been taught to like being brushed/handled so I am letting you know by snarling or growling, or the dog is just being a dog and simply wants to lay down on something soft like our beds.

Deuce, the younger of the two and a newcomer to our household has excellent social skills. He will avoid a confrontation at all costs. Good lad Deuce, good lad! What he does instead, if he wants to exit a room and Laika is laying close to the door, or if he wants a toy that is in close proximity of Laika, (even though Laika is not really that interested in toys) is to bark. I have learned to recognize when he needs my “help.” So I come and help him. The way I help him is by positioning myself between him and Laika, while Laika doses off really not that interested in harassing or hurting Deuce. Yes, I know it sounds like a pain to have to stop what I am doing and a major case of: who is training whom here – an interesting topic for another time, but there are several good reasons to do this.

1. Your dog will learn to come to you (or call you when he/she is in trouble instead of running away if he is hurt).

2. Your dog learns that you are trustworthy and that is a sweet thing.

3. You get to make decisions about interactions between your dogs and “explain” the rules when needed…. No we do not take bones (unless these have been abandoned) from each other.

4. It is really good to get up from the chair and move around when you have a home-office since it is so easy to just plug away at the computer. So, I see these interruptions from my dogs as the equivalent of taking a break at the water fountain or stopping by an office-mate’s cubicle to comment on each other’s nail polish or the upcoming elections. These interruptions, which do not happen daily, are also great opportunities for me to learn about my dogs and enjoy what they do best: being dogs.