Have you ever heard a young child tell you (or perhaps you were that child!) that they hated having Aunt “X” or Uncle “Y” coming to their home because they would routinely press their cheeks hard and get so close to their faces where they could even smell their breath?
Well it happens very similarly to oh so many dogs. Their owners not being aware of or just not wanting to be rude, allow strangers (from the dog’s perspective) to pat their heads – a big no-no, pat them hard or even hug them.
You see, we as primates love to hug. But the problem is that dogs are not primates and hugging is far from good doggy-manners. In fact most dogs find all that touching and hugging aversive.
.jpg)
I just came back from a client’s who relayed to me how her cute pup had growled at her friend when the friend hugged the dog. My client told me she was confused about how to proceed and feels bad that her friend is referring to her overall-friendly dog as a “bad” dog.
Ahh! Give the dog a break! We hold dogs to such high standards. Not even the most noble of us could really live up to those standards.
So, what is one to do? For starters we could honor - most - dogs wishes and not hug them, pat them on the head, touch their tail or any other area they can’t really see or are sensitive about.
Instead, we could vow to never interact with a dog that clearly has not asked for social contact by approaching us with loose body language, open mouth and soft eyes. In other words, receptive to having a social moment with us.
Second, we could vow to never allow anyone to act like Aunt "X" or Uncle "Y" and impose themselves on our dogs. In essence, we need to become better advocates for our dogs.
It is true that some dogs are fine having their owners love on them by being hugged or other forms of affection. But make no mistake; having your best pal express itself this way is really different than having a stranger do the same. Dogs as social beings also have “friends” in people and dogs that they choose to be intimate with and others that… no thanks!
I invite you then to consider any social grace from the perspective of the dog. When you do that pat yourself on the shoulder for your kindness and understanding. Your dog would if only he/she could.
Well it happens very similarly to oh so many dogs. Their owners not being aware of or just not wanting to be rude, allow strangers (from the dog’s perspective) to pat their heads – a big no-no, pat them hard or even hug them.
You see, we as primates love to hug. But the problem is that dogs are not primates and hugging is far from good doggy-manners. In fact most dogs find all that touching and hugging aversive.
I just came back from a client’s who relayed to me how her cute pup had growled at her friend when the friend hugged the dog. My client told me she was confused about how to proceed and feels bad that her friend is referring to her overall-friendly dog as a “bad” dog.
Ahh! Give the dog a break! We hold dogs to such high standards. Not even the most noble of us could really live up to those standards.
So, what is one to do? For starters we could honor - most - dogs wishes and not hug them, pat them on the head, touch their tail or any other area they can’t really see or are sensitive about.
Instead, we could vow to never interact with a dog that clearly has not asked for social contact by approaching us with loose body language, open mouth and soft eyes. In other words, receptive to having a social moment with us.
Second, we could vow to never allow anyone to act like Aunt "X" or Uncle "Y" and impose themselves on our dogs. In essence, we need to become better advocates for our dogs.
It is true that some dogs are fine having their owners love on them by being hugged or other forms of affection. But make no mistake; having your best pal express itself this way is really different than having a stranger do the same. Dogs as social beings also have “friends” in people and dogs that they choose to be intimate with and others that… no thanks!
I invite you then to consider any social grace from the perspective of the dog. When you do that pat yourself on the shoulder for your kindness and understanding. Your dog would if only he/she could.
No comments:
Post a Comment