Handling Our Frustration with Our Dog’s Behavior

Those of you who read my blog regularly know by now that I have been struggling with Deuce’s and Rio’s “performance” or interest when it comes to flying Frisbees.

Well, this morning was one of those mornings. I am gathering the Frisbees and the energy to start working with these guys. Both Deuce and Rio appear excited at this point. Good, I think. I throw my first air born Frisbee for Deuce and he remains standing looking at me as if asking me what do I want him to do about that. What??? I recall yesterday you were chasing Frisbees as fast as you could when we were practicing in the back porch and today??!

I call Rio and she kind of gives me the cold shoulder and begins to sniff the air amused by the freshest smell in her vicinity. I up my enthusiasm by running away from her, yeah; look it is really fuunnn - I am almost out of breath; still, she snobs me.

Darn! Okay, I actually thought more than that - but I will keep it civil here. I am now really frustrated. I proceed to tell the dogs to get out of the field where we are “working” and to my surprise they both obliged wondering what is wrong with me that I have turned into a Meany. I think to myself: plan B… but, what is plan “B”????

I proceed to call the dogs one at a time as the other one watches. I then get all excited as to convince them that they are the lucky ones by being summoned to play.

NOTHING! Once again I tell them to go outside as I began to practice my Frisbee throw. I nail a few throws but thanks to Rio’s obsession in chewing them they now fly haphazardly.

No point in buying new and expensive Frisbees if my dogs don’t want to play – I sulk.

I am done having fun at my party-of-one and I collect my mauled Frisbees. I pass by the two of them who are now lying in the shade waiting to see what’s next. I give them a glance and I tell them harshly that we are done playing. They both kind of don’t believe me since this rarely, very rarely happens. I ignore their doggy-plea for an explanation and I put the Frisbees away.

Believe me when I tell you that I was very frustrated. I was actually so frustrated with them and my ill attempts in getting them motivated to play that I decide to basically ignore them. I am dog less now. And that suits me just fine.

I spent the rest of the afternoon in this mode also trying to figure out what is behind my strong inclination in playing Frisbee with them. I ponder upon my goals and in the process I am feeling kind of bad that I am doing something I do not want to do: I am thinking of my pups as robots or tools that must conform to my wishes and perform as I see fit when I do.

I also tell myself almost admonishingly that all training and learning MUST be fun or at the very least intimidation free! This is something I really believe in and now I am turning into something I don’t like.

I also recognized that I did the right thing by not taking too much of my frustration on Deuce and Rio. Yes, my less-than-fun body language reveled to them my current state; but no one got yelled at, or physically abused, but since my “ignoring” mode very rarely happens with these two, I guess they were caught by surprise and took notice.

I decided to cut myself some slack, but investigate further. These are some of the thoughts that came to me as part of my process of learning about myself, my expectations and how to deal with frustration with my dogs and their behavior:

1. Dogs are not tools. They are sentient beings with whom we should enter into some sort of contractual agreement when we want them to do something such as catching the perfect thrown disc, remain next to us as we navigate the world of disability, search over and over again for possible victims in search & rescue teams, win the Iditarod or the Agility competition.
2. Learning should be as stress free as possible and without intimidation.
3. Learning should consider the needs of the learner with the “teacher” observing and adjusting to fit the lesson’s goals as well as the needs (emotional, cognitive) of the one learning.
4. Learning and training MUST be enjoyable and as equally important...
5. We will NOT succumb to the reinforcing nature of punishment. This is actually why punishment (presentation of an aversive) abounds in animal training, children rearing and life in general: Because it is reinforcing for the one administering the aversive.

One of the things I enjoyed most about my job is that I get to trouble-shoot and find the many “whys” why dogs rather do something else at a given moment than what we have in mind for them. As well, I miss finding the motivators to have them happily comply with us.

Sure enough, by our next training session, I had come up with a plan “B” that I could live with. This training plan had fun, had knowhow, but above all it was fair to the dogs.
Stay tune for next week’s installment.

Quiz of the week

What do you think leads behavior?

1. The use of a verbal cue/command?
2. A marker such a “click” or a “yes” when our dog (or any other animal with a spinal cord) does something we like?
3. Consequences: good and bad (from the perspective of the learner)?  

Drum roll… the correct answer is: # 3!!!

Indeed it is the consequence immediately after the behavior that will increase or decrease the behavior from happening again or being suppressed. Consequences though MUST be delivered immediately after the behavior otherwise they are useless in directing which behaviors we want to see more of (or less of). Understanding this important principle of animal learning really put us in the driver seat. If instead of getting frustrated at the dog because they are not “listening to us” we focus in giving timely consequences for behaviors we would not only communicate more effectively with our dogs our “desires” but we would begin to reap the benefits of our sound application of learning theory, which by the way, is not a “theory” in the strict use of the term. It is a science – the science of learning.

One of my biggest pleasures in life is relaxing in a hot tub. Lucky for us, our current home has a one. It is part of our daily routine to get in for a quick soak in the am. Deuce and Rio often come with us and either lay down wondering how long before we do something “fun” or engage them in play. Some mornings, they bring a toy – expecting us to play with them.

Have you ever tried training your dog from a hot tub? I have and it is not easy! Especially if you can’t reach for the toy. I have been encouraging Deuce to bring the ball close enough to me so that I can throw it for him but instead Deuce lies next to his ball exchanging quick glances between my eyes and the ball and wondering what the heck is wrong with me!

I realize that I need to teach this boy that in order for me to throw the ball for him, I need to be able to reach it. Okay, okay somethin’ else on the training list.

This morning, however, Deuce tried something different - really different: He gently nudges his ball towards me. Now I was able to reach the ball while hoping I would not crack a rib as I leaned forward from the hot tub. Immediately I threw the ball back at him and I continued to do so as long as he continued to nudge the ball back in my direction - ignoring any other response from him.

Ahh, the beauty of consequences leading behavior! Two points for me for:

1. Noticing that Deuce was engaging in some novel behavior within this context.
2. Seizing the opportunity to reinforce what I have been trying to “explain” to him: If I cannot reach the ball, I can’t toss it.

Now that you know the answer, try this at home. Stop getting frustrated or plain angry at your dog when he refuses to “listen” or respond to your cues. Instead, focus your attention on implementing consequences for behaviors that you want to see more of or applying consequences for behaviors you wish your dog would stop doing.