I had been eyeing this amazing recliner for about two years now in a nearby store. Finally they had a sale on it and I jumped on the opportunity. This recliner is not only super comfy because I can sit and lay down in four different positions, my recliner is also beautiful: with a small foot-print it is very ladylike… And it took Laika only one evening to claim the chair for herself! I had a suspicion this might happen so I prepared for it: I thought to drape it with a designer-like throw so that the dogs can enjoy it too.
Call me a softy, but for me the joy of seeing one of my dogs dozing off peacefully is worth the price of admission. Moreover, I refuse to live life protecting the integrity of any couch! Don’t get me wrong, our home is quite clean… okay, clean for New Mexico, where there is dust everryyywhere, yet our sofas are stain free, dog hair free and no legs have been chewed off.
I thought that perhaps I would have to “sell” John on the idea of this new chair as being dog-friendly. As John saw Laika making a discreet approximation to the chair, he asked me if we were going to allow the dogs on the new recliner. I said "yes" and made him aware of how the placing of the throw would take care of any dirt Laika might bring along. My thinking about the possibility of John not wanting the dogs on the new chair made me think about dogs and house rules…
I get asked gazzilions of times if I think that dogs should be allowed on couches, sleeping with their owners/guardians. And my answer is always the same: do you want them on the couch/bed? Has there been any growling, snapping, etc. when you come to the bed or sit on the couch and your dog is already on it? I add that whatever they decided is okay. After all every household is different so I don’t think that there is a one-size-fits-all on this one. However, I do think that it is mandatory that we make whatever our household rules are crystal clear to our pets.
By crystal clear I mean that we must be as consistent as humanly possible - this is a big one for us humans about making sure the pet understand the requirements which in some cases it might require some additional training and that we are consistent with consequences when the rules are not being followed. Let me give you an example of what NOT to do. I know, I know, it is best to say what to do but I think this example illustrates very well how we tend to see things mainly from our perspective leaving our furry pal confused as to what we really want, yet we expect him/her to follow our rules.
I had a client once that was very upset at his dog for begging at the table. I made some inquiries about the incidents of obnoxious begging where I came to find out that my client had been feeding the dog on and off from the table. Once I pointed out to him that if the dog was now begging it had to do with his own table manners.
He realized that he could not have it both ways. This is a salient example because it is very typical of how we think: we think that because we have certain desires or expectations that these will be transmitted as if by osmosis to our dogs. The second issue here is that my client had been feeding his dog off and on while at the table. Not only is this really confusing for the dog, but the behavior (begging) had been put on a variable schedule of reinforcement (VR)! Think Las Vegas… that is it. Variable schedule of reinforcement are VERY powerful monsters… because the learner is not always reinforced there is a certain amount of frustration that will make the learner try even harder to get the reinforcement. Remember, schedules of reinforcements (there are others) follow the laws of learning.
Another downside for our dogs when we are inconsistent exercising our house rules is that all the guessing creates from mild to severe anxiety in our pets. Think about it, have you ever had a boss that's demanding of your performance, yet lacking in direction as to how and when a project needs to be done? What was your reaction?
My recommendations to those seeking my advice is to discuss with all family members as to what the rules and expectations for the dog should be. Then, take an honest look and see if those rules follow this criteria:
1. Are they (also) fair to the dog? If we choose to not have dogs on couches and beds, are we providing Fido with a soft comfy bed of his own?
2. Our rules should never undermine under any circumstances the welfare of the dog. i.e. the dog sleeps outside or stays outside without some adequate shelter regardless of the weather… ouch!
3. Dog is subjected to fearful or anxiety provoking scenarios because… I am the alpha, pay the rent blah, blah, blah… so the dog is thrown into the pool because he must like to swim. Similarly here, the dog has absolutely no agency because after all… he is just a dog. Include here the erroneous premise that our dogs must always mind us and do as they are told (see stupid rule above…). We must remember that they are not our toys or robotic, but sentient begins who deserve having their needs met, too.
4. Finally, realize that not because your dog has done a given behavior once or even a few times is proof that your dog has learned what the request for the behavior is and its consequence, so instead of guessing please make sure that you either find yourself a fantastic positive reinforcement "how to train your dog" book- (I have recommendations, so feel free to email me) or get yourself and your pup in the hands of a trainer who understand how dogs learn (learning theory).
Call me a softy, but for me the joy of seeing one of my dogs dozing off peacefully is worth the price of admission. Moreover, I refuse to live life protecting the integrity of any couch! Don’t get me wrong, our home is quite clean… okay, clean for New Mexico, where there is dust everryyywhere, yet our sofas are stain free, dog hair free and no legs have been chewed off.
I thought that perhaps I would have to “sell” John on the idea of this new chair as being dog-friendly. As John saw Laika making a discreet approximation to the chair, he asked me if we were going to allow the dogs on the new recliner. I said "yes" and made him aware of how the placing of the throw would take care of any dirt Laika might bring along. My thinking about the possibility of John not wanting the dogs on the new chair made me think about dogs and house rules…
I get asked gazzilions of times if I think that dogs should be allowed on couches, sleeping with their owners/guardians. And my answer is always the same: do you want them on the couch/bed? Has there been any growling, snapping, etc. when you come to the bed or sit on the couch and your dog is already on it? I add that whatever they decided is okay. After all every household is different so I don’t think that there is a one-size-fits-all on this one. However, I do think that it is mandatory that we make whatever our household rules are crystal clear to our pets.
By crystal clear I mean that we must be as consistent as humanly possible - this is a big one for us humans about making sure the pet understand the requirements which in some cases it might require some additional training and that we are consistent with consequences when the rules are not being followed. Let me give you an example of what NOT to do. I know, I know, it is best to say what to do but I think this example illustrates very well how we tend to see things mainly from our perspective leaving our furry pal confused as to what we really want, yet we expect him/her to follow our rules.
I had a client once that was very upset at his dog for begging at the table. I made some inquiries about the incidents of obnoxious begging where I came to find out that my client had been feeding the dog on and off from the table. Once I pointed out to him that if the dog was now begging it had to do with his own table manners.
He realized that he could not have it both ways. This is a salient example because it is very typical of how we think: we think that because we have certain desires or expectations that these will be transmitted as if by osmosis to our dogs. The second issue here is that my client had been feeding his dog off and on while at the table. Not only is this really confusing for the dog, but the behavior (begging) had been put on a variable schedule of reinforcement (VR)! Think Las Vegas… that is it. Variable schedule of reinforcement are VERY powerful monsters… because the learner is not always reinforced there is a certain amount of frustration that will make the learner try even harder to get the reinforcement. Remember, schedules of reinforcements (there are others) follow the laws of learning.
Another downside for our dogs when we are inconsistent exercising our house rules is that all the guessing creates from mild to severe anxiety in our pets. Think about it, have you ever had a boss that's demanding of your performance, yet lacking in direction as to how and when a project needs to be done? What was your reaction?
My recommendations to those seeking my advice is to discuss with all family members as to what the rules and expectations for the dog should be. Then, take an honest look and see if those rules follow this criteria:
1. Are they (also) fair to the dog? If we choose to not have dogs on couches and beds, are we providing Fido with a soft comfy bed of his own?
2. Our rules should never undermine under any circumstances the welfare of the dog. i.e. the dog sleeps outside or stays outside without some adequate shelter regardless of the weather… ouch!
3. Dog is subjected to fearful or anxiety provoking scenarios because… I am the alpha, pay the rent blah, blah, blah… so the dog is thrown into the pool because he must like to swim. Similarly here, the dog has absolutely no agency because after all… he is just a dog. Include here the erroneous premise that our dogs must always mind us and do as they are told (see stupid rule above…). We must remember that they are not our toys or robotic, but sentient begins who deserve having their needs met, too.
4. Finally, realize that not because your dog has done a given behavior once or even a few times is proof that your dog has learned what the request for the behavior is and its consequence, so instead of guessing please make sure that you either find yourself a fantastic positive reinforcement "how to train your dog" book- (I have recommendations, so feel free to email me) or get yourself and your pup in the hands of a trainer who understand how dogs learn (learning theory).
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